Ain’t nutting’ but a gangsta party. (Taken with instagram)
Did YOU just waste $7 on a The Phantom pokie?!? (Taken with instagram)
No need for caption.
(Source: thewitchdoctor)
Painted by Will Bullas (Taken with instagram)
The real life William H. Macy from Shameless. (Taken with instagram)
From the bottom of my cold, black heart, congrats, Beyonce! (Taken with instagram)
Tomorrow I am shaving my head in support of the thirty-one Australians who will be diagnosed with blood cancer on that day. So far we have raised nearly $2000 to help the Leukaemia Foundation provide practical and emotional support to these people and their families by providing them with cars to get to and from treatment, paying for counselling, and continuing research into treatments.
Since Sunday night is such a busy night on Tumblr, please hit reblog, and if you have any spare cash in your paypal or bank accounts please donate. The link is http://my.leukaemiafoundation.org.au/jennycrosbie
(via ahellboundheart)
I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU
Something I struggle to understand is when people expect you to be happy for them when they tell you about something super great that has happened in their lives.
I’m sorry; unless this “super great” thing that happened to you affects me directly I really couldn’t give less of a fuck.
For example, if you and I were living together and you had arrived home really excited to tell me about your newly found occupation as a waste of human-life charity mugger, then yes, I’m happy for you but ONLY because the situation affects me also, now I don’t have to carry your fucking lazy arse when the rent is due, you late-to-the-job-party cunt.
Call me a selfish piece of shit if you like but that’s what your parents are for, go and tell them about your oh-so-amazing achievements, they probably don’t care either but according to the Parent/Child Unconditional Love act of 1982 they’re not allowed to tell you that. Coming out of the closet and your parents still being “proud of you” also falls under this umbrella, believe me, they hate you and the fact that they didn’t have any other children and now the family line stops with you, jerk.
Way to choose to be gay.
Me on the other hand I’m not bound by such rules, I’m also a horribly bitter person and the fact that I don’t have a whole lot going for me, apart from interest in a few TV shows and bitching about stupid shit on the internet means that when I’m told about such things it feels like you’re rubbing it in to my jealous little face; and I’m supposed to grin and tell you how awesome it is that you have something that chances are I don’t have and probably want? No thanks, guy.
On the other side of the coin, I can be happy for some people but that’s usually when I already have or don’t want whatever they’re telling me about like a shittier job than mine or a baby, I’m actually really happy for people who tell me about jobs they get that are shittier than mine and I want to congratulate them for finally stepping up from the bottom rung of the ladder and finally getting an entry-level position in shit-eating.
When it comes to babies I’m not sure how I feel about it, I guess I’m happy for the people who were actually trying for one, then there’s the people who had one sprung on them and then try to pretend they’re excited about it. Wow, I almost want to host a funeral for those guys, for the death of the life they wanted to live instead of the screaming, shitty, money draining life they’re going to need to get used to.
Just to make things clear, I wasn’t dealt a bad hand or anything, I just have a tendency to be a bit lazy some of the time, unmotivated a bit more of the time and cynical all the fucking time. I also catch myself being as self-involved as the rest of you sometimes,
It’s the moment when you hear the person’s tone of voice in their reaction to your “news”.
It’s either a half-hearted “oh, that’s cool”, or an excited, trying-to-sound-sincere-but-it-doesn’t “THAT’S GREAT NEWS!”
These are both alarm bells that the person you’re talking to really doesn’t care because either…
A) It’s not relevant to their interests.
B) Your life-changing event is going to threaten their comfortable way of life and now you’ve become competition and they are going to have to use every fibre of their otherwise peaceful being to not fucking destroy you, you oblivious motherfucker.
And lastly… for the positive
C) They genuinely do care because they’re a good person and the thought of others succeeding gives them a warm feeling inside and a mild erection because of some weird fetish that has something to do with eagles soaring over canyons and people accomplishing goals.
I imagine the last one would be rare, not because of the fetish thing, just because people are genuinely the worst.
I believe the only reason someone would ever be happy for me is, like a stated above, partially for their own agenda, that agenda being that they won’t have to hear me bitching about how much something sucks for 5 minutes, these people being most of my friends.
If you have no agenda and you’re still excited, you’re just plain fucking weird.
Resentfully yours,
A.J. DeWolk
**I jacked the pic from whiteeyebrows.com, cheers!
The Nutty Professor meets Citizen Kane
What is “Jack and Jill”?
